When love is lost and hope ends
When the million words can’t bind the million pieces you can’t seem to find as your cardia erupted, volcanic regret like lava leaking down your soul till time leaves only ashes cocooned by loss
So the sun smites you not by day nor the moon by night because you retreat to inhabit a steel house made of four plane walls that will not be blown down by empty promises and false declarations of “Forever Love”
Too scared to let in the light that once led you to the lover who tore your world apart when you still believed in having a heart, In love, In hope…
Trying to cope, hoping against all odds you’ll defeat the enemy battling for your soul, all the while wondering what profit it would be to give it all up and gain the world
After all, all that’s left is ashes
But from ashes to ashes, from dust to flames, like a Phoenix you rise again to laugh, to love, to cry,
And though you feel the ache inside, you hide the pain behind vodka and sex games, too ashamed you admit to yourself that you got played, so you master the game, enslaving yourself as the world becomes your playing ground and power becomes the aim
you became a slave to your senses
All in a bid to avoid the pain of a broken heart.
But back to the start
To the one with the broken heart and the burnt out soul.
To the one who almost lost their mind when the enemy stole the little hope in the heart that lit up the part of life that ever meant anything
To the one step forward, three steps back
Stepping on glass like stepping stones, wanting to feel pain
No! To feel!
Wanting to feel
alone knowing all along that it isn’t the “Forever Love” lost forever that causes the worst pain
It’s the now in the “always forever” that never came.