SCARS

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As steady as a beating drum, my heart beats in my chest…

Pumping blood rushing through my veins to the tips of my fingers and toes

And only God knows how hard it hurts to stay alive sometimes…

And when all is said and done, and everyone is gone,

I’m left alone to dance to the rhythm of my heart playing in my chest,

And I begin to move, mixing my salsa with my tears as I gasp for the breath of life for what I think could be my last time…

And as my head begins to sink, and as my eyelids slowly shut,

My gaze falls upon my chest…

And I see them…

Those scars…

Those scars I wear across my chest

From times I failed to be the best I could be,

From times people looked and couldn’t see any good in me…

And they threw me aside as they took out the trash when they were spring cleaning out their lives…

Scars from times I loved so deep it carved a hole straight through my heart,

And it took days, and weeks, and months of surgery,

Lying under the blade of the Word setting asunder the cause of the incessant bleeding, as my heart beat faster,

A cupid’s arrow lodged in my left auricle

Filling my veins with the poison I called love…

And it was killing me softly… 

“I honestly didn’t know where to turn

Because everyone I went to seemed to think that

The only problem with my situation was me.

And as the daggers of “encouragement” pierced through my abdomen,

I realised it was harder to digest the truth

When the rest of the world thought you were the lie,

And lying there waiting for a Good Samaritan to hear my silent screams and help me to an inn, 

Then I began to realise,

“nobody knows who I really am…”

“Nobody can recognise me…”

“Nobody knows my name.”

 

But somebody did…

And He picked me up…

And He cleaned me up…

And He called me by name…

Not liar, or misfit… He knew my name.

Excerpt From: Okoye, Xyvah. “Zayin.” iBooks. 

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