Always Forever

When love is lost and hope ends 


And the tragedy sends volts of pain from your heart to your brain, incapacitating you
That’s when you know your heart is broken. 

When the million words can’t bind the million pieces you can’t seem to find as your cardia erupted, volcanic regret like lava leaking down your soul till time leaves only ashes cocooned by loss

So the sun smites you not by day nor the moon by night because you retreat to inhabit a steel house made of four plane walls that will not be blown down by empty promises and false declarations of “Forever Love”
Too scared to let in the light that once led you to the lover who tore your world apart when you still believed in having a heart, In love, In hope… 

Trying to cope, hoping against all odds you’ll defeat the enemy battling for your soul, all the while wondering what profit it would be to give it all up and gain the world

After all, all that’s left is ashes

But from ashes to ashes, from dust to flames, like a Phoenix you rise again to laugh, to love, to cry,

And though you feel the ache inside, you hide the pain behind vodka and sex games, too ashamed you admit to yourself that you got played, so you master the game, enslaving yourself as the world becomes your playing ground and power becomes the aim 

you became a slave to your senses

All in a bid to avoid the pain of a broken heart. 

But back to the start 
To the one with the broken heart and the burnt out soul. 

To the one who almost lost their mind when the enemy stole the little hope in the heart that lit up the part of life that ever meant anything  

To the one step forward, three steps back 

Stepping on glass like stepping stones, wanting to feel pain

No! To feel!

Wanting to feel

alone knowing all along that it isn’t the “Forever Love” lost forever that causes the worst pain 

It’s the now in the “always forever” that never came.  

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